How do you explain this kind of loss to someone? Flashback to August 25th, 2020. At 8.5 weeks my world was shattered with the spoken words “Your baby has no heartbeat”. It was a routine ultrasound. No pain, no reason to worry. Even Adam wasn’t there. I stared up at the ceiling and begged God to spare my baby. Bargaining was my first step of the grief process.
From August 25th to October 2021st, life revolved around my mental health. I was a zombie, a shadow of my former self. I barely ate or drank and stared ahead with glassy, tear stained eyes. School teaching was nonexistent. I barely spoke a word and by the time I went back to school, I was still passing clots and the pain was unbearable without a hefty dose of 800mg of Ibuprofen. When I was at school, I couldn’t teach. There was no reason to be there anymore but I still kept coming back because I believed the kids needed me.
Fast forward to 12/22/21- I am finally ready… ready to try again. I start my process tomorrow. I already had lab work and now tomorrow is a saline ultrasound. We are ready to do the transfer in January.
My Fertility Journey 