I hate for people to think they are walking on eggshells when I talk to them about my infertility but there are certain words and phrases make me cringe when I hear them. Most people have no idea how to make me feel better and don’t know what to say. Usually it’s not malicious in intent.
“There are so much worse things… like cancer or death of a loved one”. You think I don’t know that there are terrible things out there? Yeah.. I know… but it makes me feel my feelings are invalid and that the personal hell I’m going through isn’t bad enough to make me sad, mad, frustrated, angry, etc.
“I know how you feel”. This only makes me cringe when I talk to people that pop out children easily. No… you don’t know how I feel if you haven’t experienced it. There is nothing that can prepare you with the possibility that nothing might work… that you might be childless for the rest of your life.
“Well… just relax and it’ll happen”. No. There is a medical problem that cannot be fixed by just relaxing.
“Well at least you still have your freedom”. I would die to not have “that freedom”.
I’m sure there is so much more if I thought about it but here are phrases just off the top of my head. Here is actually how people can help me that don’t know what to say or haven’t been through what I have been through. Pray and just listen. If you don’t know what to say.. that’s ok just listen while I vent or share what is happening in my life. Sometimes that’s all I need.
My Fertility Journey 